Build A Mental Fitness Habit In 8 Easy Steps

Dear Friend,

Why build a jacked body without cultivating a chiseled mind?

I find it so funny that people will go to the gym to build muscle and burn body fat, yet are smoking a cigarette right before they walk in the door. 

Similarly, many of us will place so much importance on being physically healthy without taking care of our mental health.

Bicep curls help us feel strong.

Treadmill runs help us feel lean.

Yet, we still explode in anger when some doofus doesn’t put their dumbbells back in the right spot.

Or is that just me?

The more I’ve delved into personal growth, the more grateful I am that I developed my mental fitness habit long before perfecting my physical fitness habit. 

Don’t get me wrong, more of us would benefit from a strong and consistent health and fitness routine. 

But it’s not enough for us to eat healthy meals, lift weights, and burn calories. 

We also need to put in the reps in training our mind.

There’s more to strength than being able to lift furniture during a household move.

There’s more to endurance than walking up a few flights of stairs without having to catch your breath.

What if more of us were aware of how we feel before we react with an angry outburst?

What if we took more time to consider whether we needed to respond to something at all?

What if we paused to examine the sensations in our body as we spent time with other people or were about to make a decision?

What type of world would we live in then?

My guess is, we’d all suffer less, be at least a little bit happier, and we’d all have a heck of a lot more compassion for each other.

Today, I’m going to share how you can build up your mental fitness habit in 8 easy steps.

Add it to a regular physical fitness routine, and you’re on a great path to better health.

Let’s get to it.

Why should you be mentally fit?

There are several benefits to adopting a mental fitness habit.

You’ll sleep better, be calmer, and even increase the size of your hippocampus with enough practice. This is the part of your brain that’s responsible for learning and memory. 

Not only that, but studies have shown that the amygdala, or the part of the brain that controls fear, anxiety, and stress, can reduce in size.

The best way to build a mental fitness habit is through daily meditation. 

There’s a reason several major religions, from Hinduism to Jainism to Buddhism, have espoused meditation for thousands of years. Archaeologists can trace the origins of meditation back to 5,000 BC.

Historically, people used meditation to establish concentration, achieve liberation, get closer to God, and connect with their true selves.

But perhaps the most important reason to meditate is so you can stop missing out on the most important moments of life.

Once you train the brain through meditation, you can choose to be present in every moment. 

Instead of rushing through moments of life to get to the next thing, you’ll be able to appreciate each moment as it is. 

We can watch the beauty of nature flash by our windows without looking at our phones. We can watch how our friend lights up with excitement when telling us about their newest hobby without getting lost in our own thoughts. 

Life becomes a series of deeper moments instead of hoops we need to jump over to get to the next “big event.”

Because the only reality is the present reality. Everything else is time travel.

Now that you know why it’s important to be mentally fit, it’s time to discuss the “how.”

8 easy steps to building a mental fitness habit

1. Find the time

You’ll never start a meditation habit unless you set an intentional time to do it.

Whether you do it first thing in the morning (like me), or in the evening before bed to unwind, the important thing is to set aside a consistent time each day to meditate.

You can start with scheduling this in your calendar. I used to schedule an event with myself for 30 minutes, first thing in the morning. 

Or, if you use an app to kick-start your new mental fitness habit, you can often schedule time to meditate and sync it with your calendar. You can also receive a notification that it’s time to sit (though phone notifications are easy distractions!)

2. Start small

There’s no such thing as meditation perfect. 

That’s why we call it meditation practice.

No one cares if you sit to meditate for 5 minutes, or 35 minutes. 

The important thing is to just get started. 

If you only have 5 minutes in your day before the kids run downstairs screaming and demanding breakfast, then give yourself those 5 treasured minutes.

I’ve even heard a story of someone who was so busy with their day-to-day, that their only time to meditate was the 5 minutes they took after parking their car at work. They’d arrive, close their eyes and focus on their breathing for 5 minutes, then enter the office for their workday.

Is a calm, present mind worth just 5 minutes a day to you?

3. Pick a comfortable, quiet space

You shouldn’t be distracted while meditating. 

Total silence isn’t the goal here. But ideally you’d pick a space that is comfortable and relatively quiet. 

It doesn’t matter if you sit on a meditation cushion (I don’t), but you’ll probably find it easier to pay attention to your breathing if you’re sitting as upright as possible. 

Many people can do this in an office or kitchen chair or even a sturdy sofa. But you can also sit on a cushion, on the floor, or even stand if you’re having a hard time staying awake. 

If sounds occur around you and you get distracted, that’s no problem. Just return to the breath (which I’ll explain soon).

4. Forget about quieting your mind

Meditation newbies often think they need to quiet their mind completely.

That any thoughts that creep in during meditation means they’re “bad” at it. 

But ‌thoughts will always come and go, especially during meditation.

The important thing isn’t to stop thoughts from occurring. Instead, just recognize the thoughts as they come. Notice each thought, acknowledge it, then let it go. 

When you catch yourself thinking, you can return to your object of focus (usually the breath).

5. Focus on the breath

Ok, so you’ve found a consistent time to meditate, a quiet place to do it, and are committed to starting small. You’ve agreed not to worry about keeping your mind quiet.

So now what are you supposed to do?

Well, once you’re ready, just start with a few deep breaths.

In through the nose.

Out through the mouth.

In through the nose.

Out through the mouth.

In through the nose.

Out through the mouth.

Then, close your eyes. Let your breathing return to normal. Notice where you feel the breath in your body. 

Maybe you feel the temperature of the breath through your nostrils on the in-breath or the out-breath. Perhaps you feel the breath deep in the belly. Or you feel the top of your chest heaving up and down.

There’s no right or wrong. It’s worth noting where you feel the sensation. 

You can add in a body scan to see what other sensations come up in the body. Or note sounds.

But for now, it may be best to focus on the breath. Let any thoughts that come pass by. 

When you realize you’re thinking, return to the breath.

As you advance in practice, or if you have breathing issues, you can use other “anchors” (the place you focus on during meditation) to substitute for the breath. 

Other anchors you can use include sounds, your heartbeat or pulse, or even other physical sensations.

6. Use an app if you need to

If starting without a guide is too intimidating, don’t be afraid to use a meditation app to begin your practice. There are hundreds of them out there. 

You can also listen to guided meditations on YouTube or find a reputable meditation podcast to listen to.

When I was first learning, I particularly enjoyed Headspace’s free course on learning how to meditate. They have a 14-day free trial before you can sign up for a monthly or annual subscription. 

Waking Up (not to be confused with this newsletter) is an app by philosopher Sam Harris. I find it not only practical, but the app explains why meditation is so effective. There are also many great talks about philosophy, meditation, mindfulness, and even psychedelics.

7. Repeat each day and build your habit over time

Meditating once is great. But imagine how much the feelings of calm, clear-headedness, and presence will intensify the more you meditate.

I’ve been meditating daily for about a year now. Before that, I had long stretches where I meditated consistently, only to fall back into my old patterns of neglecting mindfulness.

I’ve noticed that when I stick with my habit, I’m able to live in a much calmer manner and maintain a sense of inner peace, no matter what life throws at me. 

But when I drop my habit, I invite chaos. I become much more reactive, am less present, and find my anxiety rising.

Just keep up that easy 5 or 10 minutes a day, and soon enough, you’ll want to sit even longer. 

8. Notice mindfulness in everyday life

The true beauty in meditation is seeing the benefits in everyday life.

 When you adopt a mental fitness habit, you’ll notice that some things that bothered you before don’t stir you up in quite the same way.

For instance, when I was flying back home from my first meditation retreat, I noticed how irritable other passengers on the plane were as we sat on the runway for an hour waiting to take off. 

One woman was complaining to the other passengers, believing she was being held hostage because she couldn’t go to the bathroom. I normally would have rolled my eyes at this behavior, but instead of calling her a Karen, I recognized her suffering in the moment and just felt at ease about it all.

When the plane could take off was out of my control, so I just sat there in a peaceful silence.

You don’t have to go to a meditation retreat to enjoy these benefits. Even after a few meditation sessions, you’ll see the benefit of your mental fitness habit playing out.

You’ll have empathy for the friend that’s always late. You won’t hit ‘send’ on that angry email. You might take a few deep breaths and walk away from a tense situation before responding in a more calm manner. 

Every moment is an opportunity to live what we practice in meditation.

Just get started

Don’t spend too much time obsessing over any of these steps.

Just like you wouldn’t spend months choosing which gym to go to in order to start your physical fitness habit, you shouldn’t get caught up in any of these steps when building your mental fitness habit.

You’ll only realize more calm, clarity, and awareness in your life once you actually implement a daily meditation habit.

These feelings won’t compound until you execute the habit each day. 

If you only worry about one thing with meditation, just worry about getting started.

Too many of us are more reactive than we need to be when interacting with others and making decisions.

The sooner you can just get started meditating, the better world all of us will experience.

We’ll have more kindness, compassion, empathy, and presence with each other.

And you’ll be well on your way toward developing that chiseled mind.

Much love,

Spenser