How Taylor Swift Helped Me Find My Voice At Work

Dear Friend,

Taylor Swift has to be the most annoying person in the world.

I remember the first time I heard her whiny voice blaring over the speakers at the grocery store I worked at as a teen. 

“‘Cause when you’re fifteen…”

Ugh, I hated that song.

It’s funny, though, how that one song clouded my entire perception of Taylor Swift in the years since. 

Before the Swifties circle around and cancel me, I have to credit Taylor Swift with at least one thing.

She raised my consciousness.

Even though Taylor appears happily coupled with Travis Kelce, I think it’s worth exploring my relationship with her and how it’s benefited my life. Particularly how I can bring elements of my Shadow to light for greater career empowerment.

Because the people that trigger us the most often give us the most to learn from.

T-Swift may never write a song about me, but I can write an entire newsletter about her. 

Because without her, I may have thrown in the towel when life got hard at work. 

One dream can change everything 

One night, I had a strange dream. 

It was a similar dream I’d had months before. In the dream, I was living in an older apartment. The layout was open, and there was a bedroom toward the back. After exploring it in the dream, I discovered it had either a small, hidden set of stairs or a ladder that ascended to a floor above.

Upstairs was an empty classroom, complete with desks, children’s toys, and other bright colors. The hallway outside the classroom expanded seemingly infinitely and might have even included a mall. 

It was a random dream, but as I’ve learned since, our dreams aren’t random.

Sometime later, I had another dream about that apartment. Only, I no longer lived there. 

I’d actually sold the apartment to none other than Taylor Swift. 

Now, I don’t know why a billionaire with the freedom to live anywhere in the world would choose this older Chicago apartment to move to. I can only assume it was one of many homes Taylor Swift has.

But instead of seeing her as this bitter enemy or annoying singer I’d consciously thought of her as, I had the time of my life with T-Swift.

We went out on the town together in the back of a limousine, even hanging out in Chicago’s Boystown neighborhood with the rest of the gays and Swifties. It was as if we’d been friends our entire lives and were besties catching up after an extended period without seeing each other.

This was the first catalyst in helping me see Taylor Swift as a talented artist and person, even if I didn’t love her music before. It was as if my unconscious was telling me I’d need to lean on Taylor Swift in my everyday life.

What I didn’t know then was I’d need T-Swift just a few months later. And at work, of all places.

Finding my “whiny” voice

At the beginning of this newsletter, I described Taylor Swift’s voice as “whiny.”

Perhaps this is why I was so put off by some of her earlier work, but appreciate more of her recent releases, including her Midnights album.

I find her latest work less whiny and more empowering, uplifting, and even fun. 

My dream might have transformed my view of her from whiny and desperate to a fierce individual expressing her unique personality.

After having this dream, I began having some serious difficulties at work.

A new person joined our design team, and right away, my new coworker set me off.

They came aboard as a lead on the team, which meant they’d have a critical voice in a lot of my work. Yet this person wasn’t in my direct chain-of-command since I sit on the content team.

Right away, they were asking me about existing processes, documentation, and a whole host of other things that we didn’t have buttoned-up. Probably because we’ve been so busy doing the actual work that we didn’t have time to do these things well.

As time went on, this person began pushing my buttons more and more. They would re-write my work without consulting me, present work that others on the team had worked on without giving them credit, and wouldn’t include me in relevant meetings that impacted my job.

Every meeting I had with this person made me seethe in anger.

My jaw would clench. My heart would pound. I’m pretty sure I’d swear aloud (with my mic muted, of course) just about every time I had to interact with this person.

It was clear they triggered me, and there were likely some shadow elements present in them I hadn’t discovered in myself.

Eventually, our relationship became so tenuous that I considered resigning or looking for a new job. 

I just didn’t know how much longer I’d be able to take it from this person.

Surely, since they were just hired in a senior position, if it came down to a “them or me” situation, the company would choose them. Especially since I’m a contractor.

But I figured before I turned in my notice or began looking for other opportunities, I’d at least bring up what I was experiencing with my boss. 

He and I have always had a good relationship, and I figured he might help me address my concerns with this coworker so we could find a better way of working together.

Initially, I was terrified of doing so. This was inconsistent with my past behavior at work. Normally, I’d just suck it up and keep my feelings to myself.

I’d allow resentment to build for my coworker, experience intense feelings of my jaw clenching, heart pounding, and teeth rattling until I couldn’t take it anymore, and explode in anger.

But because I practice a daily meditation habit and am aware of my emotions and feelings as they arise, I knew I’d have to approach things differently.

I had to welcome my inner “whiny” voice by bringing up this concern. 

T-Swift gave me courage

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had the dream of becoming besties with Taylor Swift for a reason. 

I’m convinced I had the dream because I needed to learn to embrace one of my Shadow qualities. Specifically, I needed to embrace my inner whininess. 

And seeing Taylor Swift, who I thought as nothing more than a whiny singer as a teenage grocery store clerk, transform into the most influential artist of the century, told me I could be successful if I embraced this quality.

So I finally worked up the courage to tell my boss what I was feeling.

I explained I felt this new co-worker was undermining my work and thought they could do my job better than I could.

I shared how it felt like I almost didn’t need to do my job at all, since this person was such a talented writer that they could do it all. 

My boss made me feel understood and agreed that rewriting my work wasn’t acceptable.

Because I had the courage to speak up, he spoke with this person’s boss and even the new coworker. Things got drastically better after that, and we both saw how we could communicate better in order to prevent some of the frustration we were both feeling.

I stopped feeling such intense emotions at work and could contribute more with the knowledge this person wasn’t truly out to undermine me.

I went from thoughts of resignation to thoughts of empowerment at work. No matter what situation we face at work or in our careers, feeling empowered is the best place to be.

Being “whiny” isn’t a bad thing

If there’s one lesson I learned from my dream about Taylor Swift, it’s that this “whiny” part of my Shadow isn’t something to fear.

It’s worth it to speak up when something feels off in life.

I’m the only person who will stand up for myself and what I need, and I need to do that at work, too. Not just in personal relationships.

So if you’re struggling with a challenge, it’s definitely worth paying attention to your dreams. 

You never know if they’ll help you find your voice. 

Much love,

Spenser

P.S. I’ve recently started career coaching. Lots of friends have asked for job advice over the years. Given that I’ve spent 10 years in HR and have changed careers myself, I figured what better way to give back to those struggling with job and career decisions? 

If you’re looking to reinvent your career or are struggling with anything at work, schedule a free consultation today. I’d love to chat more about how I can help you.